Dear Sumi - Whereever you are....

I owe you an apology.

You came to America as an exhange student from Asia and lived in our home. You were beautiful, tender, and shy.

You were always cold from the day you arrived on Aug 27.
Now, I understand about being cold in a foreign country.

You missed the food from your home, especially sushi, which was your father's business.
Now, I understand about missing the food from my home country.

You were often lonely and missed your friends and family dearly.
Now, I understand about missing family and friends. I, at least, however do have one person on whom I rely heavily for support.

You were frustrated about trying to communicate in a foreign language- even though you spoke a little English.
Now, I am so often frustrated trying to communicate the simplest of things - and I don't speak any Chinese.

So, my dear Sumi Honda from Japan, I would be much more sympathetic to your plight, much more patient in your silent sufferings, much more concerned about your feelings.

Oh, dear Sumi, if we were to do it all again, I would UNDERSTAND!

The Jack Spratts of China

HE suffered a lot from the cold!
SHE suffers a lot from the heat....

So, the conclusion they ultimately reached -
Chinese weather has NOT been a treat!

Words Fail Me....

Maya Angelou could do it.

Charles Dickens could do it.

Robert Frost could do it.

Allen could do it.

My daughters could do it.

But, I cannot find the words to express my emotions of this past week, and particularly Friday morning. I'm left without the ability to capture my feelings.

So, I will just tell what happened.

A short movie was playing in the classroom. Individually each student then stepped outside to where I was seated in the hallway. Each, in turn gave me their memorized motivational poem which they had chosen from one of eight possibilities.

Some spoke with passion, believing in the words such as, 'believe in your dreams,' or 'press on,' or 'you can be what you want to be,' etc.

Their emotions, their feelings, their passion was exhilirating. These beautiful students with whom I had met 17 times over 17 weeks, were sharing their ideals, their dreams in the words of poets.

And, then came Henry – he had called himself Hades when Allen first had him in class last semester. Allen had suggested he change his English name to something more appropriate, so he became Henry. Henry sat in the back of my classroom. He often talked to Sky, the boy next to him. He often put his back pack on the top of the desk, thinking I could not see him playing with his Ipad – a gift from his Uncle.

Out in the hall, on this day, Henry gave his poem. Then he smiled, reached out his hand to shake mine. In a firm grasp, which I had taught them, Henry said, “Thank your for this term. I love you.”

Electricity surged through my body....

Henry is 19, over six feet tall, all boy, and he said to his 67 year-old wrinkled, aging teacher from America. I love you.

Would this scenario ever occur in America? Not likely...a college student complimenting his old, tired professor with the phrase, I love you?

In that one brief moment, all the expressions that former teachers had repeatedly told us; “you will LOVE your students” was realized a thousand fold.

And, how could I express to Henry what he and his 210 classmates had given me?

Again, for me, there are no words....except perhaps...

thank you for this unbelievable, indescribable experience.

Henry smiles happily at the first of the term, as I met with students in groups of four.

The Day I decided to Hold Class Outside

Sweltering hot classroom.

Brilliant Idea: go outside.
Grass looked green and inviting.

BAD IDEA!
Grass was wet from rain less than two hours previously
Brilliant Idea: Pavilion looked like great Plan B

BAD IDEA!
Not enough seating places for entire class and they didn't want to sit down anywhere
Brilliant Idea: as soon as a student has finished giving his poem, he is free to go home, thus freeing up space for others to sit down.

BAD IDEA!
30 students started slapping their legs, arms, each other; they started moving, jumping up and down, slapping even more vigorously.

Mosquitoes had descended on us to join our class, but they did not want to give poems; they only wanted us as dinner...one girl ended up looking like she had a bad case of the measles; her entire leg was covered with red splotches!

BAD IDEA had gone from BAD to WoRSE!

Okay, I learned my lesson – no more going outside on this campus!

Cynthia Asks a Question

sunny day in Guangzhou
"Mrs. Hackworth," Cynthia asked before class got underway, "is it true that in America, girls in the university will not use an umbrella to keep out of the sun?"

I just totally started laughing.

"Oh, Cynthia, that is the best question," I said. "I'm so glad you asked.

"You are right! Absolutely! Girls in America NEVER use an umbrella to shade themselves from the sun. They LOVE the sun. They love getting tan.
You Chinese like white faces, they like tan faces. "

"But, it is not healthy," Cynthia persisted.

"Ah, my dear, health is not a concern of the average American college girl. But, having a good tan is of great concern."

Oh, I do love these students and the questions they ask!

In General...

how do you spend your extra time?" she asked.

"That is quite easy to answer," I said.

"In general, I spend my waking moments scratching my mosquito bites.

I know it's not the usual hobby.

However, I am kept busy trying not to show any favoritism. If I scratch the one on my right arm, then of course, I must scratch the one in the identical place on my left arm. Both hands need scratching at the same time, so I work on that for awhile before going to my legs (front and back), then on to my feet - left and right.

By the time I go through this routine, I have now acquired six new bites, which must be given equal attention.

And, then.....

oh, I'm so sorry, but I have to go right away...

I just got a new bite on the left side of my neck that requires my immediate attention."

The Americanization of Hadley

She was about 24 months, with gorgeous thick black hair and big brown eyes...her newly chosen name was Hadley.

She was in her new little stroller and she was tired and hungry.

"She's tired and hungry," said the new adoptive mother.

So, the new mommy reached into her bag and gave the tired, restless child an M&M.

Sorry, Hadley, but that's how we get them to be quiet and behave in America. And, the real problem with that is, before long you will come to want, expect, and demand that little tasty morsel.

And, soon, you will look just like your new mommy looked - like she had had one too many M&Ms...welcome to America, Hadley!

(Please note: going back 30 years, I was doing the exact same thing, which I now regret. But, I realize there are much better food choices, however, for dear little Hadley.)

Adoption Island

Well, of course, that is not the real name...the real name is Shamian Island.

It's undoubetedly one of the loveliest places in Guangzhou - a teeming city of 34 million people.

But, unlike the bustle and throngs of people elsewhere else in Guangzhou, Shamian Island is peaceful, with little traffic and few people on its European-looking, tree-lined streets.

For many many years, couples adopting had to go to Shamian Island to the American Consulate to complete the paperwork for an adoption. The consulate has moved. Couples no longer need to go there.

But some do.

Yesterday, in our short visit to this lovely, little island, we saw FIVE adoptive parents; 2 single moms, and 3 families who adopted girls from China.

Two of the girls had a physical handicap of some kind, in fact, one of these was a 10 year old girl adopted by a retired Navy man and his family.

Each little girl was stunningly beautiful. One was abandoned the day she was born, one was left at an orphanage when a growth appeared on her bottom. I don't know the circumstances about the other three girls.

One couple had waited five years for this moment....to take a little girl home from China. One single lady was so excited to get her little daughter.

Baby girls in China are a disadvantage. One of my students just told me that she is from a family of four girls; her grandmother was very angry at this girl's mother because she had GIRLS - four of them.

So, it's always a beautiful sight on lovely Shamian Island to see little girls in the arms of new parents, who are so thrilled to have these beautiful little GIRLS.

Thank Heaven for little girls and the wonderful families who will give these girls a chance in life.

Fathers I Have Known

Today, I am thinking of fathers.
My father, first and foremost.
My father was the best of men. He lived like he believed. He was generous, kind, patient, thoughtful, and exceedingly private. I NEVER heard him use bad language or get angry. He was a musician, a speaker, and a wanna-be handy man. He was a man who treated everyone equally. He loved the Lord, his family, and his country. He was good to the core. Oh, how I miss this dear, dear man.

The father of our children:

Allen has taught his children to: fish, love nature and the beautiful world God created, to play the guitar, love music. He is a good man and the children were blessed by what he taught them.

My father-in-law. I have never met a man more faithful and in love with his wife than Hubert. Over many years, I grew to appreciate him. He was honest, paid his bills early, was outspoken, and was a wonderful handy man. I miss him.

My brothers are wonderful fathers; they have raised remarkable, talented, extremely intelligent children. My brothers parenting inspires me.

Our own three sons and our son-in-law: Each has his own "father" style, but, oh, what great fathers indeed. How I love them!

My grandfathers were the best of men also, as are my uncles and cousins.

I have been blessed to have been surrounded by good men my entire life. I consider that one of my greatest blessings....to have known and been schooled by great, good men.

And, to the greatest Father of All, I say thank you...my heart is overflowing today.

Common Themes of Life

Just one small group representative of 210 students; these girls are all roommates and will be the entire four years of their college life.

The final oral exam assignment: tell about a turning point in your life.

They told stories of:

running away from home
arguing with their parents
being addicted to pills
trying to commit suicide
sorrowing after death of a grandparent whom they had ignored
heartache upon breaking up with boyfriend
being disappointed about not getting into school of their choice
growing up upon entering university
being envious of birth of another child in family
deciding to be a good student and feeling successful
being bullied
death of loved ones
feeling lonely
pressures of college entrance examinations and then pressures of college life
moving away from home

And, all the stories reminded me of the commonality of mankind in growing up.

But, oh, how dear and tender each personal story was as they sincerely opened their hearts.

I will miss them.

The Matchmaker Misses on This One

(Annie, husband, and mother-in-law)

"They hated each other from the start," Annie explained talking about her husband's parents, who were living in China when they married.

"My husband can remember them fighting, fighting, fighting. So one day, the father took his son and daughter and left the house. When he didn't return, my mother-in-law became worried and wondered about them."

The wife/mother had no idea where her husband and her children were.

She would not see her children for 26 years! She suspected they were in Taiwan, but had no way to know for sure and no way to contact them.

And, she was right - they were in Taiwan where they grew up away from their mother, but with other family members from their father's side.

We all listened raptly as Annie told the compelling story on the bus and over dinner.

Walking home after eating, I said, "Annie, how did these two ever get together then, since there was, and still is so much animosity between them?"

"There was a matchmaker in the village who thought their families should unite," she answered.

I walked home silently thinking: matchmaker, our own choice, shotgun choice;
marriage can be a challenge!

Gratitude Time

I'm so thankful for:

eyesight

hearing

mobility

5 marvelous children and their mates

a wonderful, kind, good husband

the gospel

Book of Mormon

God's incredible world

technology

food

extended family

fun grandchildren

good friends

home

many, many others, but I will end by saying I'm very thankful for

AMERICA

which I will see in three weeks.

Using the MUTE Button

It occurred to me when I woke up very early this morning with the entire right side of my body covered with mosquito bites, that the mosquitos are now using a new strategy entirely:

they have turned on their mute buttons.

I no longer hear their annoying pssssssst flying right over my left ear.

Consequently, I am lulled each night into a sense of serene security making me THINK there are no mosquitos to attack me each night.

So, now, I am left to ponder, when did they acquire MUTE buttons on their tiny bodies?

Just a Little TOO Personal

When I woke up this morning with mosquito bites in very private places, I decided they are getting just a little too personal.

So, I plan to ask them to politely leave my navel area alone!

Love at First Sight

Lost in Translation

On the window of our 11th floor motel room....still makes me laugh to think of it.

Iris and the Turning Point

Final Oral Exam: Give a two-minute presentation on a turning point in your life.

(I have tried to recreate Iris' story as accurately as possible:)

“My turning point occurred on May 27, 2000. That is the day my little sister was born. Because of China's one-child policy, when my mother became pregnant, she had to hide this condition. So, she stayed in our home. I resented that she could not go with me to places and to school. I could not have my friends see her. As her time for the baby to be born came nearer, she had to leave Guangzhou. I hated her. She had left me just when I needed her.

On the day my little sister was placed in my arms, I kissed her, and I was so ashamed at my feelings towards my mother. I loved my mother and my little sister. I was now a big sister and would have so much responsibility...so much to teach her. I grew up at that time.”

LingLing to Iris: So, Iris, when your mother came home with the baby, what happened because of the one-child policy?

Iris: We had to pay the government some money.

Iris - far left

Oh, My Aching Ills

Right side: toothache
right foot: plantar fasciitis – getting worse
right side: sharp pain in stomach
right eye: half closed – still – from bump on head from fall one month ago
possible hernia developed since coming here
arthritis in knees and left leg
grinding teeth at night – headache each morning
large growth on top of scalp – getting bigger
gaining weight at alarming rate
exhaustion

In other words, I'm gonna be glad to get home!

the UPS and DOWNS of tourism

“Hello, I'm Kathryn, I will be your tour guide for the next three days. Please get a good night's rest as we will be climbing the mountains tomorrow,” she said as she greeted us at the airport.
DAY 1:

“Today we will be going to the world-famous mountain made famous by the movie Avatar. It is something so spectacular, you will never see anything like it again!”
Climbed 100 steps up, then 203 down to get to the elevator, which takes us to the mountain top.
Climbed 213 steps down, then 78 steps up to get to see something
Climbed 158 steps up, then 82 down to ride the tram
Climbed 52 steps down, then 159 steps up to see the view, which unfortunately, couldn't be seen because of the fog
Climbed 197 steps to nowhere because we couldn't see anything but fog.
Walked for 1 and a half hours to see nothing because of the fog.
So, she was absolutely right, we will never see anything like it again....very thick fog at a very famous mountain top.

DAY 2:
“Today, we will be visiting the world famous Boafeng Lake at the top of the mountain and then we will go to the world- famous caves underneath the ground.”
Climbed 500 steps up to get to the lake,
Climbed 579 steps to get down from the lake.


Climbed 579 steps down to the caves
Climbed 672 steps to get up out of the cave.

DAY 3:
“I have saved the best for our last day. Today, we will visit the famous Heaven's Gate mountain top. To get to the top of this drmatic mountain view, we will climb 999 steps in a very steep climb that will have you breathing heavy and ruin your knees for a lifetime.”

So, we climbed 732 steps up and down to begin our trip to the famous Heaven's Gate. Walked along a very dangerous path, but as our guide said, “Watch your head...there are many low-lying trees. However, because of the fog, you will not be able to see them or me! Just know they are there. But don't worry, we will - after three hours - get to the starting point of Heaven's Gate, with its 999 steps.”

After our long hike, a scary cable car ride, and a hair-raising bus ride around the 99 curve road, our guide said, “There it is, I'm very sorry that you cannot see it. It is very impressive and beautiful. But, you should climb the 999 steps anyway. It is good exercise and very beneficial to your health. And, of course, once you climb up the 999 steps, you must climb down the 999 steps.”

And, that my friends, is what I mean by the UPS and DOWNS of travel.

The Hiker

Most of the people on the trail were wearing tennis shoes, or something similar; jeans tee shirts, normal comfortable hiking gear.

We were climbing down some slippery, treacherous stairs when I first noticed her.

She's good; even on the mountain trails, she's set to impress the guys!

Going Natural

There were 14 different dishes of food on the round table with the revolving center.

There was:

turtle soup
shark fin soup
fish soup
breaded eggplant
cucumbers
fungi
lamb dish
very spicey green beans with chili and garlic
pumpkin
the traditional dragon boat festival sticky rice wrapped and cooked in bamboo leaves, which are then discarded
duck with the bones in
cooked vegetable platter with celery, onions, red peppers, snap peas

Each Chinese person around the table was enjoying and feasting on the delicious, healthy food. There likely were no artificial ingredients; just food from the earth and sea.

And, sadly, only two things tasted even remotely edible (actually, I didn't try all of it, so I can't say about some of it. We were in Hunan Province which is known for its very spicey, HOT food, so I didn't even try the dishes that were spicey hot.)

I couldn't help contrast this meal with a Thanksgiving dinner, which is extremely heavy on the carbs:
turkey basted with butter
stuffing
home-made rolls
corn
pumpkin pie

The tragedy of this comparison is that I have become accustomed to the high-fat, high carb American diet. I do not like the healthy, no artificial ingredient meal of the Chinese.

I have been seduced by the makers of the “STUFF” found in the American grocery store. And, that is sad.

I am going to try harder when we return to America in July. Can I do it?

To quote all the Chinese students....I will try my best.

Nancy

"...that is why I must work so hard in university...so that I can get a good job and support my parents."

Nancy had just given me her seat as we began the one-hour bus ride back to the north campus where she and I live. We chatted the entire way home; here is her story.

Nancy comes from a family of four children, including a twin brother (more children are allowed in small villages.) Her parents are hard-working farmers. Until recently, they were rice farmers. Then the government told them they were to farm tobacco, which they do now. They were told it would bring them more money.

Nancy's parents get up very early, go home for lunch and a short rest, then work into the night. She told me that carrying the tobacco leaves to her home is very hard work. She pointed to her shoulder saying, "It is so painful to carry."

"I'm sure you help your parents a great deal," I said,

"Yes, but they can carry much more than I can."

"Will your twin brother go to university?" I asked.

"No, he does not like school...he doesn't study. In our small village, there is not good education. Most children stay at home after graduation...they do not go on to university. That is why I love my parents so much; they are working so hard to send me to Guangdong University."

"What do you want to do, Nancy?"

"After I graduate, I want to get a good job and support my parents. I want them to relax and to do some traveling."

"What a wonderful goal."

"All the people in my village look very old - it is because they work so hard. I want my parents to be able to enjoy some beautiful sceneries before they get too old."

I looked at Nancy...her story is similar to so many or our students. Their ultimate goal is to get a good job to support their hard-working parents. That is their very first dream.

Nancy, you, and so many of your classmates, inspire me.

My wish for you is that it all happens, just as you want it to.